Sydney Morning Serenity
OA Sydney Intergroup Newsletter
Sydney Morning Serenity is the bimonthly newsletter produced by
the OA Sydney Intergroup. Following are highlights from 2000 editions of
Sydney Morning Serenity. For only $15.00 AUD you can receive
Sydney Morning Serenity on a bimonthly basis in your letterbox.
All you need to do is send a cheque for $15.00 AUD with your name,
address and phone number to OA SMS, PO Box 35, Dulwich Hill, NSW, 2203.
Excerpts from Sydney Morning Serenity, the OA Sydney Newsletter
Tape Review ~ Celebrating Recovery
Celebrating Recovery (tape no. 241) was recorded in October at Gordon's fifth
birthday meeting. Three guest speakers share their experience, strength and
hope in their journey of recovery from anorexia, bulimia and overeating.
On side two, members share on these and other topics. This tape is really
strong in its emphasis, that through using the 12 Steps the miracle of
recovery that is available to all of us.
~ Sue (Tapes) ~
From Sydney Morning Serenity, December 2000 - January 2001
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Tradition 12 ~ Anonymity
Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our
traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.
Following right on from Tradition 11, Tradition 12 enlarges
on the idea of anonymity. In relation to Tradition 11, it became a policy
when the organisation began to develop to the extent of receiving media exposure.
As we saw in Aug-Sept issue of SMS, the idea of anonymity began
as a protection for the early members: both from the stignma attached to being
addicts, and from the overwhelming response which they expected and feared
(and got) from alcoholics who wanted what they had.
In time, however, a more important reason for anonymity became
clear: it protected the group of AA as a whole from focus on individual
personalities which would detract from the principles embodied
in the 12 steps.
Tradition 12 articulates a further realisation: not only is anonymity a good
idea to keep the fellowship focussed, but it's good for us as recovery addicts
because "it reminds us... that we actually practice a genuine humility. This
to the end that our great blessings may never spoil us." (from Tradition 12 long form,
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p.192). To keep us humble,
to keep us grateful to our Higher Power and the fellowship, to keep us
ever mindful that our recovery couldn't and didn't come from ourselves alone.
As The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous puts it,
"To be anonymous in OA means to be one among many, to accept ourselves as no
better or worse than our fellows. This acceptance places us in a state of humility.
It makes us teachable. We find ourselves listening intently to people whose names
we don't know" (p.200).
The OA Twelve and Twelve also reminds us that anonymity is not the same as
secrecy (p.201). Whilst we always heed the vital importance of confidentiality,
as we are privileged to learn personal information about other members, it can
be appropriate to use our full names within the fellowship. It is also "not
a break of anonymity to enlist twelfth-step help for group members in trouble,
provided we are careful to refrain from discussing any specific personal
information." (ibid.)
The principle of anonymity is so central to our fellowship that it also appears
in our name, and it is listed as one of our tools of recovery.
For a member's personal sharing on the tool of anonymity, please see this
issue's tool article.
~ jr
From Sydney Morning Serenity, December 2000 - January 2001
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Staying Abstinent Over the Holidays
Looking back over eleven abstinent holiday seasons and trying
to sum up how I have got through them all, the word that comes to mind is
service. Within OA, contact with other members around that time plays a big
part in reminding me that I'm an overeater, that I don't want to go back to
where I was, and that there are other people who find this time of year and
the attendant celebrations difficult and who suffer much more than I do.
Going to meetings, including on on Christmas Day itself if
there is one nearby, helps with this.
The main kind of service that I am talking about, though,
is not within OA. It is a more general kind of service that helps me to
get my mind off myself and is a very powerful way of keeping me away from
the food. Wherever I am, I try to focus on other people. Are there people
who are worse off than I am? People who are lonely, insecure, among strangers,
sick in some way, overeating compulsively? Can I try to make someone feel
welcomed and comfortable?
Can I help the person who has organised the day? I try and see how much work
they have put in and be grateful for that and take some of the load off them.
A very good trick for me is to assign myself a job, and the one that seems to
suit me is to do the washing up. If that's not appropriate, or if it puts me
too close to food, then I can take on the job of offering to make the tea and
coffee, putting presents under the tree, entertaining the children, or driving
to pick people up - whatever needs to be done.
For me, all of this is also part of making amends for my past behaviour, when
people showed me so much hospitality and did so much work to entertain and feed
me. I felt no gratitude and spent my time complaining about my lot in life,
wallowing in self pity and depression. I was sure I was the centre of the
universe, and I couldn't stand the fact that other people had failed to live
up to my expectations and focus on making my life comfortable, as if they
didn't have lives and worries of their own.
This kind of amends-making is part of becoming more mature,
and of reversing the condition described in the Twelve Steps and Twelve
Traditions. "We have not once sought to be one in a family, to be a friend
among friends, to be a worker among workers, to be a useful member of society.
Always we tried to struggle to the top of the heap or to hide beneath it." (p.53)
For the last few years I have been having the family Christmas at my place,
and this year my brother is getting married a week later and I will be in an
isolated part of the country surrounded by food and alcohol. I am already
asking my higher power to help me do the footwork now that will keep me safe
then, and not leave it till the last minute. I am planning who I will phone,
and how I will be of service at the wedding. I know that to go into a week
like that unplanned would be asking for trouble.
Anonymous
From Sydney Morning Serenity, December 2000 - January 2001
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The Tool of Anonymity
Well, what about it? Have you thought about it lately? Anonymity is a tool
and recently someone asked me: "How do you use it on a daily basis?"
Quite frankly I didn't know what to say. I had to think about it and my
answer was less than adequate. We all know about not gossiping, not
disclosing what someone has shared with us in confidence to a third person,
but what are the principles behind Anonymity? What is meant by the
"spiritual foundation" which Anonymity is? How does it affect me and my
behaviour within the fellowship? What am I asked to do? Well, for one
I'm asked to submerge my ego for the good of the fellowship.
Being a somewhat typical compulsive eater my basic mindset
is that I'm the centre of the Universe, everything ought to revolve around
me and my desires. I want to be at the centre of attention and everyone
is supposed to look up at me in awe.
Anonymity asks of me to let go of these ego driven wishes
and practise self sacrifice. To give credit for my recovery to my HP and
the 12 Steps of OA and to be humble. Argh. No credit for me?
In practise this "subordinating of my personal aims to the
common good" (AA 12x12 p.13) also asks me to listen intently to the ideas
of others at the group conscience regardless of whether I like them or not,
to listen to everyone's shares at meetings regardless of their time in
program or the number of days they have been abstaining. To offer the
newcomer the same help I received when I came to OA, regardless of whether
they are someone important "out there in the world".
Practising Anonymity is a big challenge really. Being
humber is not one of my strong points, but I can see the benefits of it.
Humility keeps my heart thankful to the gifts I have received in this
program. It also keeps me on the same level as everyone else, being no
better or worse, no smarter, not entitled to special treatment and no
less required to pull my weight in the fellowship.
The last challenge I see in Anonymity is that of giving
freely of myself to this fellowship. Whether it be in monetary ways or
in ways of service, be it at a group level, IG, Region or World Service.
And doing it without getting caught up in my own "imagined importance".
I'm glad I was asked about how I use the tool of Anonymity.
It showed me that I have a long way to go yet.
Anonymous
From Sydney Morning Serenity, December 2000 - January 2001
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Meeting Profile ~ Gordon
It was eight months ago that I walked into my first ever
OA meeting which was at Gordon.... and I loved it! Gordon has its own
special quality and warm personality and is well worth the trip out on
a Tuesday night.
Our meetings are usually large and extremely varied
and unpredicatable. The discussion meeting format allows for loads
of sharing time and newcomers, bulimics, anorexics and compulsive
overeaters will find heaps of recovery here.
We recently celebrated our fifth birthday meeting at
Gordon with a focus on bulimia, anorexia and compulsive overeating.
The attendance was wonderful and the meeting was a huge success.
So if you decide to come along, we welcome you with
open arms and look forward to sharing with you.
~ Cassie- Secretary of the Gordon Meeting
From Sydney Morning Serenity, December 2000 - January 2001
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